Huelsermann Adventures: December 2010

This is a late posting, because I had wanted to wait till I could post my pictures of Thanksgiving this year...but seeing as I've temporarily lost my camera cord, I will just have to do with my blurry iphone pictures. I also wanted to share a little but important lesson I learned through this holiday.

Here is my recap of Thanksgiving 2010...

I was very excited to celebrate our first Thanksgiving as a married couple! First, to share the Thanksgiving tradition with Jens. Second, I have been wanting to play hostess with the mostess for a LONG time. So..finally... with wedding madness behind us and a nice long break for just the two of us - the long awaited "gift-of-hospitality" monster could be fed! Jens & I decided to invite a few friends that were special and meaningful to us this season to our home for a Thanksgiving potluck party. At first, my idea was that we'd invite just a few couples that Jens and I wanted to invest with over the next year. But then....plans went otherwise as expected...

Actually this was a source of a big fight that lasted a few days for Jens and I. I'm not proud of this but I would have to say that we went through a few harsh conversations until my very wise and loving husband set me straight on Perspective, which was apparently lost in the hustle and bustle of my Martha Stewart-like Perfect Party Planner mode.

I wanted, the. perfect. thanksgiving. dinner. party. After all, it's the first party we host as the Huelsermanns. I wanted to dazzle my guests and I wanted our home to finally be a "place of ministry". It was going to happen.

I also wanted to control who came, what food we would eat, what our house would look like, and paint a portrait of the perfect little Thanksgiving party, complete with chic atmosphere and warm laughter.

Can you sense my Type A personality peeking through? Not anal, just a Social perfectionista.

So I mapped out which couples to invite, who would get along with whom (a friend called me friendship -matchmaking) and who we might want to reach out to, and who would compliment me most on my food. :) When I told Jens (who was kind of involved but not really in this whole party perfection planning business) - he simply agreed but asked to invite a few other folks who weren't on "My List".

That's what led to our fight....Jens wanted to invite a friend/co-worker of his, who is single and a complete social mis-fit. I politely declined his request based on the fact that "well, we are inviting only couples", but that wasn't true, we had some other single friends who were our close friends and who were "cool" in my books... as we talked more, I began to fiercely defend against Jens propositions. My argument was that Thanksgiving is a special holiday for me, it's about family, love, sharing with people dear to our hearts. I wanted him to respect this holiday tradition. He did, but said, why not share it with someone who's never experienced it? As we argued more & more, emotions blew up until we weren't speaking to each other and the joy of party planning completely melted away.

"How could Jens be so stubborn??? Why couldn't he see that MY PLANS were perfect already, and just go along with them. After all, I am the one gifted with hospitality. And I'M the one that's American."

As we faced the challenge of reconcilliation after tempers and emotions were calm, Jens shared to me just why he wanted to invite this particular person. Nevermind, that this person was awkward, weird, made socially-inept comments, laughed with the wrong jokes and lied about his relationships...Nevermind that he just rubs me the wrong way...and I get annoyed after a 5min of conversation with him....the fact is, Jens has this person on his heart. He may not be lovable, cool, or an eharmony match to my other friends. But, God put this person on my husband's heart for a reason. He has no family here in Taipei, no true community...no experience of what healthy relationships look like. He doesn't know Jesus. He doesn't have anyone who shares God with him. Except Jens. And, even though Jens actually feels the same exact annoyance that I have...Jens keeps going back to spend time with him and is determined to share Love. Acceptance. Inclusion.

As Jens shared...this quiet feeling crept into my heart and thoughts. It was one of shame. How could the spirit of Thanksgiving escape me? It IS about family. love. sharing. warmth. acceptance. It is about ministry. Even the origin and history of Thanksgiving is one of acceptance amongst the Pilgrims and Settlers. Instead, I was openly choosing who I wanted to share my home with, who I wanted to share my love with, how I wanted to shape this "hospitality ministry". Hah. What a twisted and selfish perspective.

The worst part, is I realized that I used the excuse of all the Thanksgiving hoopla, tradition, guest list plans, so that I could ultimately feel good about myself. So I could look at the party afterwards and say, it went perfectly according to MY plan and it was a success.

I love how God used this situation and Jens to remind me of how narrow my perspective is sometimes (most of the times!) and shallow I was when I said, I want to throw the perfect banquet feast in the name of Thanksgiving love. I really had forgotten what it means to open your doors to the beggars, the tax payers the unwanted and unlovely people of the world. Jesus said, "When you give a luncheon or a dinner, stop inviting only your friends, brothers, relatives, or rich neighbors. Otherwise, they may invite you in return and you would be repaid." Luke 14:12.

My form of repayment would be praises and words of affirmation that further pump air into my pride and gives me a sense of deserved-ness. And so that I would feel good about myself. So utltimately, it'd still be about ME. Does that make sense? Jesus says to give to those who are unable to pay you back -- because that is truly the meaning of GIVING. without the expectation of being paid back. Jesus says to Love others without judgement, no holds barred, simply because, we love and honor God. (Luke 10:27 "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.").

Here is an interesting commentary when I looked that verse up:
Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary

14:7-14 Even in the common actions of life, Christ marks what we do, not only in our religious assemblies, but at our tables. We see in many cases, that a man's pride will bring him low, and before honour is humility. Our Saviour here teaches, that works of charity are better than works of show. But our Lord did not mean that a proud and unbelieving liberality should be rewarded, but that his precept of doing good to the poor and afflicted should be observed from love to him.

There is a reason I am blessed with so much - yet it's not my right to withhold my blessing to others, simply because I find them annoying.

In this season of Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for all that God has given me. Family, Marriage, Home, Job, Health, Love, Friends, Community, Future...and so much more. My cup is brimming to the full and it spills over. Thank you Jesus....I am filled with gratitude. And humbled. Because my German husband, who has no experience or understanding of this traditional American holiday, reminded me more about the spirit of Thanksgiving and serving others who have less than I do.

Did I say, that I'm thankful for Jens?

Some pictures of my DIY Thanksgiving decor (all leaves were handcut by jens and i)